


but darling, don't you know i'm the one for ya?

by softhar



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: He doesn't deserve this, It's just a drabble, Light Angst, M/M, and very short, my baby shawn is very sad, um it's angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 20:02:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softhar/pseuds/softhar
Summary: “i don’t want to be like harry and louis, niall.” shawn glares up at him through his eyelashes, protectively crossing his arms over his chest. “i do not want to go through five girlfriends in ayearjust because i’m with you. i want to be able to go to fucking disneyland and go on rides and take cute pictures and hold hands in public with you without have my career getting ruined by some homophobic assholes.i don’t want to hide our relationship.”





	but darling, don't you know i'm the one for ya?

**_when_ ** niall unlocks the door to the hotel room he’s been staying in for the past day and a half, the first thing he notices is that it’s dark. like, unnaturally dark. all the lights have been turned off and the blinds have been drawn together as closely as possible and the only sound that can be heard throughout the entire place is the soft sound of niall’s sneakers against the floor as he quietly steps into the room and lets the door close behind him.

he walks in quietly and drops his keys in the ceramic bowl on the wooden stand next to the door, balling his fingers into small fists and putting them in front of his face just in case someone snuck in when neither him or shawn were in the room — because he  _ knows _ how to fuckin’ defend himself, okay? 

the floor creaks under his weight as niall tries to  _ quietly _ make his way to the bedroom, popping his head into the small kitchen in the corner and the second bedroom to check if there’s any sign of life in the place; nothing so far.

the main bedroom’s door is closed, there’s a faint light coming from underneath it and he finds it hasn’t been locked when he tries the knob. he knocks softly twice, then slowly pushes the door open when there’s no answer and pokes his head in the small space created between the open the door and the doorframe to carefully scan the room with his eyes.

“shawn?” he calls quietly, his eyes stopping on the human-shaped blob underneath the covers that shifts a little at the sound of his voice. “pumpkin, is that you?”

the  _ blob _ snorts loudly at the ridiculously high-pitched voice niall has and he feels a small smile spread over his face as he fully steps into the room, toeing his shoes off without really caring where they land. he tiptoes his way to the bed, holding his breath to make sure he doesn’t make  _ any  _ noise and after a moment, he throws himself on top of it, letting out a loud cackle at the loud screech the blob lets out.

“get the _ fuck _ off, horan!” shawn pops his head from underneath the blanket burrito he’s formed around him, his brown hair dishevelled and plastered against his sweaty forehead. the small frown created by the furrow of his eyebrows disappears the moment niall leans down and presses his lips against it with a loud  _ smack _ . “god, i swear you’re goin’ to kill me one of these days.”

“nah, i don’t really think i will. I love you too much to do that,” niall answers with a cheeky smile and he puts his hands on either side of shawn’s head on the pillow to hold himself up, his nose wrinkling when shawn reaches up and flicks it affectionately. 

“that way you’d be able to be with hailee without having any problems, though,” shawn mutters bitterly and turns his face away to press it against the pillow and dodge the kiss niall tries to plant on his lips. and —  _ ah _ , there it is.

the jet lag he had been trying to  _ successfully  _ suppress suddenly crashes into him and he lets out a loud sigh, his eyelids feeling surprisingly heavy and exhaustion flooding every single inch of his body as he climbs off his boyfriend’s now trembling body and sits on the side of the comfortable bed.

“c’mon, pretty boy. y’know it wasn’t my decision,” niall murmurs quietly, looking down at his fiddling fingers just so he doesn’t have to experience the  _ hurt  _ in shawn’s eyes more than he has to. “it wasn’t hers either; you know that.”

“that doesn’t mean it’s fair, though!” shawn suddenly exclaims as he sits up straight, his back pressed back against the simple black headboard. as he runs a hand through his messy hair, niall starts to notice the dark circles under his eyes that weren’t there before and how puffy they are and how his face looks thinner than it has ever been.

“of course it isn’t fair, shawn!” niall snaps, then immediately clamps his mouth shut as he watches how the boy in front of him visibly shifts away from him, his feet tucked under each thigh. “but look at lou and harry, they’re still together and they’ve been through  _ so much _ shit.”

“i don’t want to be like harry and louis, niall.” shawn glares up at him through his eyelashes, protectively crossing his arms over his chest. “i do not want to go through five girlfriends in a  _ year _ just because i’m with you. i want to be able to go to fucking disneyland and go on rides and take cute pictures and hold hands in public  _ with you _ without have my career getting ruined by some homophobic assholes.  _ i don’t want to hide our relationship. _ ”

“shawn, i…” for the first time since they have been together, niall doesn’t know what to say. he’s sitting in front of the boy who causes butterflies to erupt in his stomach whenever he smiles or laughs and who dances around in the kitchen while they’re making pancakes because one of their songs came on and who calls niall his ‘lil jetpack’ when they cuddle and niall’s the big spoon and who likes when niall rubs his thumb across his knuckles because it makes him feel safe and niall’s made him  _ sad. _

he isn’t crying. hell, he doesn’t even look angry, but there is a small tear that he angrily wipes away with the back of his hand and his shoulders shake a bit when he takes a deep breath and he just looks so heartbroken.

“shawn, i…” niall runs a hand through his hair tiredly and presses the heels of his hands against his closed eyes because he has no idea of what to  _ do. _

“no, i get it, niall.” shawn’s voice is soft when he speaks. there’s a quiet rustle of sheets and the bed squeaks quietly when he stands up. niall looks up in surprise, watching as his boyfriend tucks his hands into his — niall’s — worn-out sweatpants’ pockets and sniffles. he fixes his eyes on the spot behind niall’s head and forms a sort of grimace with his lips that probably was meant to be a smile. “your career is taking off and that’s what is important to you; i understand.”

“no, babe. i’m just—” he’s interrupted by shawn holding his hand up and shaking his head, their eyes finally meeting after what seems like forever.

“the vma’s are tomorrow,” he states as if niall didn’t already know that. he is supposed to drive with shawn to the awards and then speed back to the venue to catch marren singing her last song. “i’m going home after that. you have my number and my hotel’s address if you need me.”

niall opens his mouth to protest but shawn chooses that moment to lean down and press his lips against the top of niall’s head for a second too short and niall lets his eyes flutter shut, taking in a deep, shaky breath to stop himself from bursting out crying, wrapping all his limbs around shawn’s body and press him down against the bed so he can never leave. instead, he nods and listens to the quiet shuffle of feet, the  _ click _ of the door closing behind it and the soft  _ tap tap tap  _ of his tears landing on his jeans.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> UM hello i really don't know what this is all i know is that shiall is real and that they deserve so much betterhvkdjbdjkdc
> 
> { [tumblr! ](http://roseanchor.tumblr.com) }  
> { [tumblr post! ](http://roseanchor.tumblr.com/post/180413136209/but-darling-dont-you-know-im-the-one-for-ya) }


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